There are things that a lot of people know about me and there are things that no one knows at all. I always get the feeling that people are judging me for who I am and not realizing why I am that way.
So here’s a random list of things that made me who I am today.

All of my friends, current and past.
Dance.
“do it for the kitties”
I still love with the first guy I ever said ‘I love you’ to.
Whenever I hit bottom, I tend to hit rock bottom.
I’ve been engaged before, and I was sober.
I used to be able to take 18 shots of tequila. But I haven’t tried lately.
I’ve wanted to stop living. Twice.
Color guard.
Being bi.
I had sex with different guys every weekend for two and a half months.
I could of been a teen mom.
Summer flings.
Skaggs, suprisingly.
Switching from percussion to French horn.
And flexibility

I’m tired of putting on a happy face 24/7. This is who I am; take it or leave it.

so people change and i realize that, but not talking or having any communication for 4 days or more isnt cool. yes i know shit happens but 4 weeks of little to no communication makes me feel like crap. you always hear people say let go of the past live for the future, but i have people in my past that i really want in my future. i just dont know if they want to be….anyway, i dont want this year of marching band to end. maybe because its my senior year or maybe because i feel like if the season ends, my friendships made will end too. i dont want that. band camp changed my life. those 3 weeks taught me that no matter the person, you can always work out your differences. but i think the main reason i dont want the season to end is because all the life lessons i’ve learned. like no matter what happens there’s always a bright side. or that if people judge you for who you are, you don’t need them in your life. i found my true friends this year, i don’t want to leave them. yeah theres 2/3 of the year left but it wont be the same. spending countless hours every week with the same 70+ people, you all become a family. i realized that while lazor tagging tonight. even though ive become really good friends with some people and let some friendships slip away, i feel like this is where i need to be in my life. from this point on, past actions arent going to phase me. if you ask me something i’ll tell you the truth. sucks if you don’t want to hear it. but i’m going to try this thing called honest. it seems to work for some people, why not for me? what’s the worst that can happen, right?

so today i…

• woke up
• went to school
• got on the bus
• slept
• took a potty break
• texted some people
• got back on the bus
• got off and ate lunch
• got back on
• took another potty break
• then finally made it to the hotel

just when you think its all done we got back on the bus and went to UVA. I really really liked it there. everything was beautiful and homey. But they dont have the major i want or a dance team……better keep looking

(via jaimeallover)

bieber-orgasm:

THATS RIGHT ! (:

(Source: brownhighlights, via smc1993)